If search Engines were Action Heroes

October 31, 2007 // Internet Fun

The different search engines branded on the web seem to be developing personalities of their own. How you may ask? Well you first take the look and feel of the search engine, the way it displays results, the quality of those results, how the public warm to these results and so on and so on.

Google (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

The king pin of the search engine world. One of the oldest and most reliable search engines, occasionally not bringing you exactly what you were looking for but close. Last few years has moved out of just the “search engine” medium and tried themselves at all kinds of different applications. Taking over the internet altogether? Possibly, whatever happens, they’ll be back!

Yahoo (Bruce Willis)

Always been a big hitter in the mainstream and has been very successful, never really been viewed as the “best” by the users. Are gradually maturing and become more cultured and offering style, go for it yippee-kay-eh – yahoo.

Msn (Mel Gibson)

Has again always been an important player in the search engine world, possibly considered “one of the top 3”. Microsoft obviously knows what they are doing online and through larger scale operations are very successful. Once loved company now starting to lose out after some bizarre behavior and domination plans. Lethal!

Ask (Sylvester Stallone)

Was very popular back in the day and of course was called something different – “Ask Jeeves”. Would sometimes produce random results, not always relevant and often quite boring. A recent facelift and PR campaign is once again making them popular within the industry, but for how long ADRIAN!

Altavista (Wesley Snipes)

Maybe seven or eight years ago some people would be right in thinking these guys are going to be big! One of the most popular search engines in the late nineties but has made bad decisions and not moved forward, very Blade decision.

Lycos (Jean-Claude Van Damme)

It wasn’t so long a go that these guys were everywhere – online, on TV and in magazines. Still considered to be of good heritage but getting old, maybe needs a new facelift and a new business goal to mend this broken arrow.

Matt Ridout

About the author

My name is Matt Ridout, I've been working in digital marketing for 9 years; worked for agencies and currently Head of SEO at fashion startup called Farfetch. Try to test my own theories.


  1. LOL!!!
    That was a great post!
    Love it!

  2. The google-nator…what if search engines were women?

    Remember when……

  3. What? Van Damme is only Lycos?


  4. Google (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

    The king pin of the search engine world. One of the oldest and most reliable search engines

    Oldest? Google is quite a newcomer compared to Yahoo and Altavista …

  5. hahaha, nice post! awesome !

  6. @Zoop:
    That’s exactly what I was going to say!

    Besides that though, nice post.

  7. Interesting information thanks for writing

  8. Once again I have found a good post of yours

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